The wall facing me each day before I commute to work looked slightly different today. A heavy dosage of continuous snowy weather inundated the area I call home for winter, netting some 2 feet or more of accumulation in 48 hours - sending connoisseurs of the powdery stuff scrambling for an opportunity with Mother Nature. Perhaps that is why the 3 miles of bike path between my van home and work was not plowed; that, or the pressing needs of the township were not primarily concerned with secondary recreation trails.
Nonetheless, when one sees a figurative wall, their mettle either dictates an impulsive retreat or an intuitive idea to move up and over, around, or through the wall. There exists a quote to this effect that my mother used to have taped up to the cupboard in the kitchen, and I never imagined how it would inspire me later in life.
A bike ride was out, the snow far too deep; why not ski to work? A simple, adventurous idea. Yet, a solution to moving past the wall I was faced with. Driving to work was just too easy. I have lived long enough with myself, knowing that I find a certain pleasure in submitting myself to challenging situations. The overtones of this ring true to my relationships - how I push them, straining the other and myself , as to see how they can stretch, grow, and still have an unparalleled strength. A loving bond that stands tall like a robust tree, mindfully swaying and not breaking in a strong wind.
The late 80s model of Rossignol cross country skis, skinny and long, on my booted feet wait my input. A gift from my brother-in-law, this is the first season I have used them - thus, the manner in which they will function, and for how long they will for the distance I intend to go, is a gamble with the faceless unknown. These things, though, do not cross my consciousness; it is only through reflection that I realize the extent to which I trust blindly in the great power watching over - or is it also just a general trust in life?
Two days prior, leisure was the course of my afternoon. Despite the general lack of sleep from late nights with a kindred soul, I was fully feeling stoked on another day of blessed life. The idea of walking through the snow to a friend's house and back to do laundry and hang out seemed foolish. Out came the skis from the rocketbox atop the van, on the boots went - purple in their throwback memories to the scene of 1980s cross country ski touring. Off I went, gliding, rekindling knowledge of the technique necessary. My legs and arms feeling strong as they created momentum; my mind clear and excited about playing in the snow; my spirit soaring. All seems literally forward moving, until my sole gives away.
"Oh man. OK ... I can figure this out."
The certain wall of tomorrow's time faces me. I am tripping into the future, and now I am without sole. What will I do?
Again, that blind trust in life. That, what will happen, will happen! I intended to ski to work the next day, and now my boot sole is completely beyond repair. Seeking and succeeding to not create self-limiting thoughts, I register nothing on the topic. To take the harder road and be in the present moment, occupied with a conscious silence that comes easier with patience and practice.
Intuition speaks, I listen. That guide that insinuates and accentuates loving and accepting moments of uncertainty. Leaving me to know rather than create, I hear and preview my options ahead: tomorrow, I will look at the local thrift store across the street, and if not there then the gear store next door. Somehow, something will work out! Thrift store to gear store and back, I settle on the cross country ski boots one size too small - figuring to make best with what I am blessed to accept.
New sole intact, I surmount the wall of today's challenge. Registering a grateful, conscious presence within me for how things just work out.
The day passes, and with the few hours remaining before sleep - that blissfully unconscious communication with the infinite - I take the time to type, pulling down fleeting thoughts that carry a resounding overtone of gratefulness for great-full moments in life.
Thank you, once again today, for your love.
Alan
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