Yester eve, I was warranted a glimpse on life. This is not
unordinary, as we have this opportunity every minute, of every day; however,
for me, it was contrasting to my usual, circadian routine. I often find myself
in such a conscious stream of daily life, that sometimes I fail to notice the
space I occupy and how I can be at peace and balanced within it. So, last night
I temporarily reconnected a breach through a green valley I had been willingly
spanning. In this, I was granted passage and observation upon myself and much
of the thought that circulates my mind now is a result of such travel. I
appreciate that life has a way of balancing the scales – for sometimes we try
too directly to equalize equilibrium.
In thought I ask myself in prose: am I a good person?
Sometimes when I’m engaged in a substance, whether that be life itself –and the
inherent challenges within – or something artificial and external, I find that
I lose track of my position within this earthly existence piece. I am glad to
be able to sit down and articulate what I am thinking. In this, I find that
thoughts need to surface in order to make a clearer connectedness of who I am.
This seems to be a common theme in life – we grow up through our teens and all
of the sudden we are in our mid-20s. It is of no surprise though; of the few
guarantees in life, chronological aging is definitely one.
A belief held – and supported – by sociologists is that with
age comes wisdom. While shining examples among the older populations of our
cultures exist, some speculate that with the current 80 and 90 years olds
dying, we are losing much of the wisdom that exists amongst our culture. When
this generation passes, will we be a few brush strokes short of a complete
picture; with no comprehension on how to complete it?
I’m struck by this idea of the sliding board theory associated
with aging. Once our physical bodies and systems mature, we are said to be on a
downward sliding board till we die; with some on steeper slopes than others. As
humans, we reach peak bone mass in our early to mid 20s, and generally
speaking, reach our peak muscle mass in our late 20s, early 30s. Aside from
humans that are defying the norm – let us call them the evolving part of our
species – much of the world’s population is on a sliding board of sorts – from
the crest of our physical peaks onward. A general conclusion would surmise that
many do not loathe this fact, based that it happens to all humans.
Similarly, a conclusion that could be drawn is the gained sense of a growing mental
peak – not experienced for many years past the late 20s, early 30s. In this
large middle-ground of life, matriculation that seemed wise to us in our
younger years truly becomes wiser, as we crescendo towards an unseen peak. It
could be stated that some die before they reach their true peak (i.e., Jimi
Hendrix, Martin Luther King, Jr., etc.).
Bearing in mind this nugget of consolation, what could be
gathered or surmised about the delay between the 30s and our older ages? Why do
we not matriculate to a greater position of wisdom earlier in life so we can
avert the hard lessons we have to discover for ourselves? What if we just
understood and did not have to continually keep being curious about our
knowledge; and if it is potentially flawed in our young ages and experiences?
Would we learn to live better lives – for us and especially for others?
Questions, questions, questions. There is something said
about speaking in riddles, or questions, to help the conscious mind discover
what it is we do not yet understand. It feels that even if we discover wisdom
at a younger age, getting those our own age, and older, to believe us is
something dauntingly difficult. Could it be that we are truly too inexperienced
to understand the said somethings we wisely perceive? Can it be possible that
we have begun fine-tuning our mental capacity to hypothesize how the world
would change if we changed our ways earlier in life? It seems, generally, that
older generations share the wisdom of their accumulated years, and often it falls
on deft ears for we are not ready to hear or contemplate the possibility of
such “trivial” wisdom. There is something, however, tangibly real in admitting
that we often find ourselves tuned-out to the words and phrases we need to hear
I appreciate being able to admit such. I find release in
knowing that I am a screw-up, a poor listener, etc.; or, that I have been, and
that I will continue to screw-up till I learn and cognitively cement my
learning autogenously. However, within my continual screw-ups, I do believe that
I can change – for the better of those sharing the world with me – and I put it
ahead of me that it will not take me till I am in my 70s to get there.
We all seem to come from a place that has intentions of
holding us in a prescribed pattern; much like a delirious circus ride or the predictable
trajectory of a phonograph needle on a spinning record. To notice this circular
cycle and conceptualize that somewhere past this it becomes indefinable in our
current frame of mind and reference, is music to my ears. I feel strongly
that wisdom circulates wholly amongst us and it is at our advantage to take time to tune-in
outside of our own smittenly-chosen music box.
I find I am truly grateful, and I desire to exude that in my
demeanor more holistically. To be transparent and demonstrating – without even
needing to consciously engage – that I am a person who cares about others,
regardless of my current, limited perceptions. That goodness, learning, and
wisdom abounds around us, swirling; day-in and day-out waiting to be tapped-into. Oh, praise the powers
Enjoying the process phase by phase. Thank you life for
handing me what I need most.