Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Who are WE?

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."                                                 
-Carl Jung 

 I have been thinking lately on the who am I question. I think I know who I am, but then again I don't. I feel I have recreated the wheel in myself, so to speak, and the time in my development after my motorcycle accident led to who I am today. This entry isn't ideal for casual readership, but it is honest and open about who I am - or who I think I am.

In order to live on, I became someone not quite me in my depressed former self. This is a darkness about me - that I harbor the ability to be a negative-framed individual within a moment's notice; but, that contrast is what leads me to find sunshine within the dark, swirling storm clouds. I cannot shuck this reality aside - as if it was a mere minor inconvenience. It is something I am to live with until I can submit to be at an internal sense of peace.

I appreciate mediums like rock climbing and yoga. Not only are they complementary opposites in some physical regards, but they reveal how it is I am unwilling to challenge myself when appropriate challenge presents itself. I can think back to yoga class on Monday and see how I was unwilling to commit to a pose I was capable of; same can be mentioned of climbs I have willingly been defeated by - sometimes before I've even tried. This mental schism between heart and mind will one day live as one.

I appreciate this realization - that I have yet to truly discover my potential because I have barriers yet to be understood and mended. In this, I have darknesses to openly and shamelessly admit. I look forward to my time on the Appalachian Trail. To have time to uncover what I've been covering up is better than what any counselor could tell me. Time, in fact, will be irrelevantly revealing the darknesses that needs to surface.

To those that have maintained their trust and love for me, I thank you. I am a faulted person; but, however unique that may seem, we all are faulty in some capacity - and that is something worth smiling about!

Good evening.
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