MLK Tribute - what could the future be?

I am the dream

festering in your thoughts

I am the unrealized person

grasping the unknown

I am the individual in a group

the unity laying in wait

I am the undisclosed start

the match to ignite the inferno

I am the hope residing outside your door

in wait to keep you company

I am the logic

screaming insanity in sane-ness

I am the stutter in your step

wishing you would trip and falter
I am the anchor

hoisted from the depths

I am the young soul

aware of a better future for all

I am realizing consciousness

space to think outside my sphere

I am forward-moving

with eyes to the past for guidance

I am action and reaction

becoming full circle

I am many of you

incarnate as a poem

I am

no longer

We are

Many

Together

One.

()

The Passenger Seat of Our Life

I seek to write though I find it a struggle to create clear thought, even though I am in good mental order currently. Have you experienced or felt a point in your life when you are tentatively ready to break through to a better you, but haven't or can't?

Idle on that.

You see in reflection how you want to fragment the blockage before you, but what will become of it? What is the method, the rhyme, the reason?Are these reasons selfish or self-limiting? Oh how confounding.

Perhaps the breadcrumbs leading towards the possible future will guide me into clear communicable thought...

* * *

There is something about the word development that entices me to write. Thoughts form but with relative ease they fail to assimilate sense at what lies before, beside, or behind me. Transform that medium to the role of an observer and clarity starts to peak. Perhaps I am putting my own life under the knife and microscope, but seeing the shadow that follows in my stead is proof enough for the examination of self.

Many have said that we are our own worst enemy, but why must it be represented as such? Can we not say that the worst enemy we have known has been the destructor of self instead? When the blocks tumble down and nothing seems to have any strength or growth, it is our own hand and mind that limits and destroys, but that same mind and hand can be positively responsible for so much more. Realizing we are the driver's of our lives permits a connection to words associated with control, but what of the passenger seat? Is that seat reserved only for someone else, or can we truly switch seats at a whim to find a differentiated viewpoint?

For those that have sought to follow my words and phrases but still are coming up bewildered, I apologize. My style is like a creek flowing over rock and stones in its way. Where the thought is headed is understood, but how it gets there and the lateral shifts it takes along the way are what may derail your good sense for reading this. Flow with me though.

As we drive down a favorite country road or half way across the country, the passenger seat in our vehicle is usually unoccupied or occupied. There is no denying this dualistic fact. I'd venture that 99.99% of us do not decide spontaneously to switch seats 30 minutes into the interstate, blazing at 69 mph down the highway. That just isn't logical, but what about the passenger seat of our mind? Who occupies that and with what frequency?

Often times, it is terrifying to take the passenger seat in your own vehicle while a friend drives. The same can be said for taking the observer's post in our minds. While this thought sounds spacey and far-off, it is actually more realistic and applicable than we realize. The desire to always be in the driver's seat is the Ego at work. Never does it desire to be second or third in line. Humorously enough though, the Ego has no quips when relegated to such positions; so long as a confident being is ordering the moves. Do we really need that delicious chocolate chip cookie, whose fudgey goodness begs a spot amongst our taste buds, or is the Ego speaking more loudly, telling us we do? This same dilemma, minus the rewarding taste of a cookie, plays out multiple times a day. The Ego, in the driver's seat, decides what, when, where, and how. Such a response is second-nature. Where was the higher mind?

If the Ego was in the driver's seat, which for all purposes is us manifested in our wants and desires, then who was in the passenger seat? That is where this piece strives to break into full sail. With no one observing from such a post; not even ourself, the higher mind keeps in its concentric circles above, while the Ego stirs the sharks below.

Fast forward 3 months and 6 days from now, that's April 15th; what is the status of your passenger seat? If you cannot see yourself in that spot, then perhaps you enjoying feeding the sharks. If you love being in the driver's seat but have a desire to take an observer's role, then you are aware that the possibility exists. Those like myself, who can imagine being the passenger for a split second or two, will appreciate the changed perspective. The clarity at that moment as we spectate how the sharks react below gives rise to the higher mind. Its concentric circles extend down to spatially incorporate all into harmonious thought. The person represented solely by the Ego is not absolute knowledge, but of course it thinks it is. Being able to see this as an observer, from the passenger seat or our own lives is disjointing, but we appreciate the harmony and understanding that clairvoyantly follows the schism.

Question this: How can we shift into an observer while still being in control of our vehicle, aside from actually scooting laboriously mid-drive into the passenger seat - rolling down the highway doing 69 mph? Just like anything in life, we can obtain the end result in a multitude of manners, but is it a manner we can be proud of as we lay in bed reflecting on our day or our journey?

Take that same morsel of fudgey chocolate chip goodness, and instead of eating it whole, sample it piecemeal. Do you notice the taste and texture change as it organically communicates to your brain the reason you desired it in the first place? If the cookie's shift from delicious treat to sustenance has been missed, than perhaps the passenger seat is unoccupied, with the Ego blazing full speed ahead.

Aim to occupy that seat; observe the lateral deviation and the new perspective it brings. Notice that life still continues, and the feeling of safety exists. Though the sharks will remain hungry, we have sacrificed the humanistic response at our Ego's expense. We have brought about a new awareness within ourselves without knowing how we would get to such a point in our lives. Oh how less confounding the road ahead seems as we peak through as both passengers and drivers of our lives.

Greetings Blog-liens

About to drop, fall or otherwise onto this blog is a post about something interesting to read, I hope. At least, at worst, it will cause some neurological processes to initiate in your cranium.

Stay frosty on the

Words and phrases,

Al

Whoa, it's been a while...

Whewwwww....Hello again. It has been a while since I posted on this here bloggie blog. Good to be back. Life has been busy but life has been good. I'm going to be curt (sorry). Below is a recent piece set to appear in the second volume of the Climbing Zine...out soon if you'd like a copy. Hope people are well!

Cheers and hugs,

Al

Points of Pressure

Some of us go through life applying just enough pressure to stay relaxed. Realizing through time and experience that too much external burden will only cause us to fear, falter and fail.

In climbing, applying just enough pressure with the pointed edge of the shoe or the tips of the finger to maintain a secure and comfortable grip is all that is needed. Many times though, comfort and security are not words exactly associated with the situation at hand. While strength, stamina and ultimately technique reside in the hierarchy of climbing needs, application of enough pressure is the exact bond between human and rock. One can possess many characteristics of a good climber, but connecting physical feat with mental acuity and execution is a greater challenge than of either physical or mental alone.

The rock appears bare and featureless but you know it has been climbed before because the chains to anchor into are visible 70 feet up. With harness, shoes and other essentials required for this sport climb, you verbalize the safety check your hands are already tasked with to your partner and lifeline.

“You’re the man on the hand” you finally hear.

“Climbing.”

Breath deep and exhale. Okay. Time to do this.

Even before you begin the climb, the mental aspect of your strategy is about to be sabotaged, sand-bagged or otherwise. This is the attraction of climbing for me. No sooner do I find myself 10 feet off the deck, carefully placing hand and foot in some alternating fashion do I realize my plan of attack is being shot full of holes. The full scheme of how I will top-out is not in mind because what truly matters is the points of pressure between my body and the rock at this current spot in space and time. If I allow other external pressures of life into my psyche, I will not finish. It seems simple to say, but thinking, saying and doing are all separated by fine lines. Welcome to the grey area.

I try to center-out. What was it he used to say to me?

…

“It’s like a puzzle; you gotta solve it piece by piece.”

I can hear his voice inside my head every time I find myself on rock now facing uncertainty in how to proceed. This mental memo combined with the possibility of danger and/or death and I find myself in the zone – tuning out the dangers; focused on task at-hand and foot. For some, a certain Kenny Loggins tune may be playing; but for me, it is a comfortable silence where my mind is gradually solving the puzzle at hand; commissioning my hands, feet, and entire physical being to the toil; to the completion.

I admit my extraverted nature has a hard time shutting up sometimes. Many love this quality about me. I cannot say I love or hate such because I do not desire to analyze myself – especially in writing. What I do appreciate though, is the quieted effect climbing has on me. When I learn to let myself ebb and flow with how my situation pans out on the rock, I find the clarity and vision for problem-solving echoing in the canyons of my mind. With a growing understanding of what the echoes are revealing, I come to appreciate the changes in perspective 10, 40, 58 feet up – almost as if I gain understanding with each new point of view. From this, the quieted-self pieces the puzzle together; not being daunted by unseen needs for change. Though, when I resist and am no longer quiet my technique exits and ego and preservation of self enter. The flash-pump I feel becomes companions with the fear of death, fear of falling or fear of how I appear to those who are watching. I no longer engage in a higher-mind. Reduced to primal survival, I finish and wonder how I came to conquer other routes of greater difficulty, but flirt failure with easier ones.

Thinking back, it seems nowhere else in that spot in space and time did I have the chance to fathom how a change in my quiet perspective dictated a successful change to my plan. Before the fear and the loudness of life crept into my consciousness, would I have still been able to center-out and focus?

***

I realize from climbing I have so much to write about but putting it logically and understandably into sentences that carry discernment is difficult. But why? Ask the tree why it grows and if it could talk, it would say, Why not?

“All I know is how to grow; I take in, I use, I give back. This is the life I only and always will know.”

Being of a higher mind simply because our species has developed and evolved significantly compared to the simplistic beings that surround us, is something not to be taken lightly. Finding a manner to engage that higher brain center is the challenge we as humans face. How is it that something physical can promote our brain waves to a higher level? Expert opinions aside, climbing puts us in that real fear of life or death. Even with all the safety features in place, you still gather a building fear. Enter the elevated consciousness. Standing back on the ground looking 70 feet up, you are not thinking of how it would feel if you fell from that height. Your mind is not fogged by failure. You practice optimistic thought and beta-gathering – whatever you can do from the ground to start your action plan’s formulation. Once you start applying the pressure needed to move decidedly up the rock, you find the quiet beauty of your mind harmoniously syncing with the surface your feet and hands are touching upon. Problems arise but possible solutions trail not far behind, much like the train’s cabose. You smile, realize everything is going to be alright and appreciate how the past shapes the future.

Meaning has been redefined now. Life is dynamic and so must be the learning process and understanding associated with challenges, fears of mind and successes. Applying too much pressure is most likely a direct result of fear. Typically, failure ultimately follows fear. However, applying just enough pressure in life to stay relaxed, like in climbing, requires a higher mind. Hopefully we all see the need and are able to center-out and tap-into such when we find fear building. Points of pressure can serve us well. It really is a matter of how hard, or how relaxed we find ourselves applicating.

Updates Hoooo!

Hello Peoples. Sorry it has been almost a month since my last post! Today could be considered ceremonious if we're feeling like it. After this short entry is complete, I am taking my internet modem back to Time Warner. No more internet for Alan; at least at my apartment. I'm counting down the remaining month in this sweet pad of an apartment. As my pictures will show (check out my picasa site! http://picasaweb.google.com/aldsmith3/SpringSummer10#) the porch I have had to hang-out on is second-to-none.

Things continue to go well besides the light dusting of snow we are receiving today. Excluding yesterday and today, it has been in the low 60s with plenty of warm sunshine. Hartman's Rocks, the place for mountain biking, camping, hiking, running, will be opening very soon and everyone in town is anticipative. I'm still looking for spring/summer work. Have a couple leads. We'll see where they go. I hope to move home in mid-July to spend a week or 2 with family and friends before I move to Boone, NC. Hope ya'll are well and I'll try to continue updating from the work computer.

In the meantime, enjoy a short portion from my recent piece. I've cut and paste 3 different sections so it's not a complete piece but it's a sampling. It is about substances and society. Enjoy:

Life has a way of extracting the happiness out of you. Liken it to a bee extracting nectar from a flower, but the twist is the reality and necessity of it. Many people choose to medicate with “happy” drugs –living in a false reality created by chemical messengers communicating to their bodies how they should think and feel. Happy drugs, that express constant emotion without much flux; effectively making the user a smiling zombie of sorts. You ought to laugh because you know that those drugs desensitize the taker to what really eclipses them: sadness; often cohabiting inside other emotions. Though, you hold your stones back because you admit you are a swimmer in the ocean of users.

*****

We Americans as a commonwealth rely on uppers, downers, lefties and the occasional right; day in and day out. Cold medicine, marijuana, Percocet, Ritalin, Alcohol, Ambien and coffee all exemplify the larger body of substances ingested hourly, daily and weekly. Look straight ahead; now behind and over each shoulder. Who do you see? Now find a reflecting surface. Did you detect the similar nature of life’s fellow occupants with your own? As hard as it is to admit our interdependence with these substances, the truth is cold and real. To sit there passively and say that what you read isn’t true is to deny on the most basic level: yourself. Honest thoughts try to admit that you have never ingested any substance orally, intravenously, or otherwise but your ears tune-in to the unspoken falsity and wire to your brain a collective realization. Turning the pointed finger back on yourself is humiliating, but good news is, others will love you if you love yourself for who you are – regardless of your chosen poison.

*****

While I do not suggest you go out and start using-up on what others are getting down-with, I do recommend however, that you take a look around and acknowledge. Both seen and unseen “users” are all around you. Are they lurking in shadow waiting to abduct your kid and sell him into sexual slavery in Hong Kong? No. They are the people you talk with at the bank, grocery store and public service/government offices. Now, before you go pulling Salem-esque Witch Hunt-stunts, breathe for a second. People are people and thus we do things just because we do; no intense or detailed explanation is needed. Basic human desires for plants, powders or liquids to alter their perception because of pain, grogginess, social reasons or other obscurities is inherent. We should strive to deal better with such things when we witness them in others. Turn the mirrors of your eyes back on yourself; then you’ll see it isn’t me…it’s you; it’s all of us.

One Love,

Alan

Updates Abound...

Ya'll. What's kickin? Just got back from Saint George and Zion, UT. Let me tell you, Zion is a sick place that everybody who ever liked or likes nature, should go. Be sure to check out my photos online! (http://picasaweb.google.com/aldsmith3/SaintGeorgeZion#)

Otherwise, for those not in the know (my bad), I have taken an assistantship with Appalachian State University as a residence director (RD). I will be working towards my graduate degree in College Student Development (possibly with a concentration in Outdoor Program Administration). I am excited and nervous for my transition as well as move back across the country. I see life as dynamic and I find myself excited for the challenges and new perspectives ahead. All in all it will be good and I know I'll look back on my time here in Gunny and in Boone, NC as allllll good :[]

Hope ya'll are well. I apologize if my prose reaches many of you before my voice over the phone. Know I care and wonder about you all in some way or another. Get a hold of me if you think of it. Catch ya soon...

<3
Al

Welp...

Tis official ya'll. I'm headed to Boone, North Carolina starting July 26ish for a 2-year stint at Appalachian State University. I will be studying College Student Development with a possible emphasis in Outdoor Program Administration. I am excited to finally be pursuing my graduate degree. I will be sad to leave Gunnison. So much has happened here to me and my life. I have learned much and will never forget the people, places, etc. Look for a more detailed and in-depth synopsis on my life here in Gunnison before I leave this July.

Thanks for the continued support. Love ya'll.

Alan