I seek to write though I find it a struggle to create clear thought, even though I am in good mental order currently. Have you experienced or felt a point in your life when you are tentatively ready to break through to a better you, but haven't or can't?
Idle on that.
You see in reflection how you want to fragment the blockage before you, but what will become of it? What is the method, the rhyme, the reason?Are these reasons selfish or self-limiting? Oh how confounding.
Perhaps the breadcrumbs leading towards the possible future will guide me into clear communicable thought...
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There is something about the word development that entices me to write. Thoughts form but with relative ease they fail to assimilate sense at what lies before, beside, or behind me. Transform that medium to the role of an observer and clarity starts to peak. Perhaps I am putting my own life under the knife and microscope, but seeing the shadow that follows in my stead is proof enough for the examination of self.
Many have said that we are our own worst enemy, but why must it be represented as such? Can we not say that the worst enemy we have known has been the destructor of self instead? When the blocks tumble down and nothing seems to have any strength or growth, it is our own hand and mind that limits and destroys, but that same mind and hand can be positively responsible for so much more. Realizing we are the driver's of our lives permits a connection to words associated with control, but what of the passenger seat? Is that seat reserved only for someone else, or can we truly switch seats at a whim to find a differentiated viewpoint?
For those that have sought to follow my words and phrases but still are coming up bewildered, I apologize. My style is like a creek flowing over rock and stones in its way. Where the thought is headed is understood, but how it gets there and the lateral shifts it takes along the way are what may derail your good sense for reading this. Flow with me though.
As we drive down a favorite country road or half way across the country, the passenger seat in our vehicle is usually unoccupied or occupied. There is no denying this dualistic fact. I'd venture that 99.99% of us do not decide spontaneously to switch seats 30 minutes into the interstate, blazing at 69 mph down the highway. That just isn't logical, but what about the passenger seat of our mind? Who occupies that and with what frequency?
Often times, it is terrifying to take the passenger seat in your own vehicle while a friend drives. The same can be said for taking the observer's post in our minds. While this thought sounds spacey and far-off, it is actually more realistic and applicable than we realize. The desire to always be in the driver's seat is the Ego at work. Never does it desire to be second or third in line. Humorously enough though, the Ego has no quips when relegated to such positions; so long as a confident being is ordering the moves. Do we really need that delicious chocolate chip cookie, whose fudgey goodness begs a spot amongst our taste buds, or is the Ego speaking more loudly, telling us we do? This same dilemma, minus the rewarding taste of a cookie, plays out multiple times a day. The Ego, in the driver's seat, decides what, when, where, and how. Such a response is second-nature. Where was the higher mind?
If the Ego was in the driver's seat, which for all purposes is us manifested in our wants and desires, then who was in the passenger seat? That is where this piece strives to break into full sail. With no one observing from such a post; not even ourself, the higher mind keeps in its concentric circles above, while the Ego stirs the sharks below.
Fast forward 3 months and 6 days from now, that's April 15th; what is the status of your passenger seat? If you cannot see yourself in that spot, then perhaps you enjoying feeding the sharks. If you love being in the driver's seat but have a desire to take an observer's role, then you are aware that the possibility exists. Those like myself, who can imagine being the passenger for a split second or two, will appreciate the changed perspective. The clarity at that moment as we spectate how the sharks react below gives rise to the higher mind. Its concentric circles extend down to spatially incorporate all into harmonious thought. The person represented solely by the Ego is not absolute knowledge, but of course it thinks it is. Being able to see this as an observer, from the passenger seat or our own lives is disjointing, but we appreciate the harmony and understanding that clairvoyantly follows the schism.
Question this: How can we shift into an observer while still being in control of our vehicle, aside from actually scooting laboriously mid-drive into the passenger seat - rolling down the highway doing 69 mph? Just like anything in life, we can obtain the end result in a multitude of manners, but is it a manner we can be proud of as we lay in bed reflecting on our day or our journey?
Take that same morsel of fudgey chocolate chip goodness, and instead of eating it whole, sample it piecemeal. Do you notice the taste and texture change as it organically communicates to your brain the reason you desired it in the first place? If the cookie's shift from delicious treat to sustenance has been missed, than perhaps the passenger seat is unoccupied, with the Ego blazing full speed ahead.
Aim to occupy that seat; observe the lateral deviation and the new perspective it brings. Notice that life still continues, and the feeling of safety exists. Though the sharks will remain hungry, we have sacrificed the humanistic response at our Ego's expense. We have brought about a new awareness within ourselves without knowing how we would get to such a point in our lives. Oh how less confounding the road ahead seems as we peak through as both passengers and drivers of our lives.