I have but a few minutes to express
how I want to go West.
West
To where the buffalo used to roam
and when one is lone they feel grown and older.
Bolder than they ought be.
West

A converse relationship between age and wisdom?

Yester eve, I was warranted a glimpse on life. This is not unordinary, as we have this opportunity every minute, of every day; however, for me, it was contrasting to my usual, circadian routine. I often find myself in such a conscious stream of daily life, that sometimes I fail to notice the space I occupy and how I can be at peace and balanced within it. So, last night I temporarily reconnected a breach through a green valley I had been willingly spanning. In this, I was granted passage and observation upon myself and much of the thought that circulates my mind now is a result of such travel. I appreciate that life has a way of balancing the scales – for sometimes we try too directly to equalize equilibrium.

***

In thought I ask myself in prose: am I a good person? Sometimes when I’m engaged in a substance, whether that be life itself –and the inherent challenges within – or something artificial and external, I find that I lose track of my position within this earthly existence piece. I am glad to be able to sit down and articulate what I am thinking. In this, I find that thoughts need to surface in order to make a clearer connectedness of who I am. This seems to be a common theme in life – we grow up through our teens and all of the sudden we are in our mid-20s. It is of no surprise though; of the few guarantees in life, chronological aging is definitely one.

A belief held – and supported – by sociologists is that with age comes wisdom. While shining examples among the older populations of our cultures exist, some speculate that with the current 80 and 90 years olds dying, we are losing much of the wisdom that exists amongst our culture. When this generation passes, will we be a few brush strokes short of a complete picture; with no comprehension on how to complete it?

I’m struck by this idea of the sliding board theory associated with aging. Once our physical bodies and systems mature, we are said to be on a downward sliding board till we die; with some on steeper slopes than others. As humans, we reach peak bone mass in our early to mid 20s, and generally speaking, reach our peak muscle mass in our late 20s, early 30s. Aside from humans that are defying the norm – let us call them the evolving part of our species – much of the world’s population is on a sliding board of sorts – from the crest of our physical peaks onward. A general conclusion would surmise that many do not loathe this fact, based that it happens to all humans. Similarly, a conclusion that could be drawn is the gained sense of a growing mental peak – not experienced for many years past the late 20s, early 30s. In this large middle-ground of life, matriculation that seemed wise to us in our younger years truly becomes wiser, as we crescendo towards an unseen peak. It could be stated that some die before they reach their true peak (i.e., Jimi Hendrix, Martin Luther King, Jr., etc.).

Bearing in mind this nugget of consolation, what could be gathered or surmised about the delay between the 30s and our older ages? Why do we not matriculate to a greater position of wisdom earlier in life so we can avert the hard lessons we have to discover for ourselves? What if we just understood and did not have to continually keep being curious about our knowledge; and if it is potentially flawed in our young ages and experiences? Would we learn to live better lives – for us and especially for others?

Questions, questions, questions. There is something said about speaking in riddles, or questions, to help the conscious mind discover what it is we do not yet understand. It feels that even if we discover wisdom at a younger age, getting those our own age, and older, to believe us is something dauntingly difficult. Could it be that we are truly too inexperienced to understand the said somethings we wisely perceive? Can it be possible that we have begun fine-tuning our mental capacity to hypothesize how the world would change if we changed our ways earlier in life? It seems, generally, that older generations share the wisdom of their accumulated years, and often it falls on deft ears for we are not ready to hear or contemplate the possibility of such “trivial” wisdom. There is something, however, tangibly real in admitting that we often find ourselves tuned-out to the words and phrases we need to hear most.

I appreciate being able to admit such. I find release in knowing that I am a screw-up, a poor listener, etc.; or, that I have been, and that I will continue to screw-up till I learn and cognitively cement my learning autogenously. However, within my continual screw-ups, I do believe that I can change – for the better of those sharing the world with me – and I put it ahead of me that it will not take me till I am in my 70s to get there.

We all seem to come from a place that has intentions of holding us in a prescribed pattern; much like a delirious circus ride or the predictable trajectory of a phonograph needle on a spinning record. To notice this circular cycle and conceptualize that somewhere past this it becomes indefinable in our current frame of mind and reference, is music to my ears. I feel strongly that wisdom circulates wholly amongst us and it is at our advantage to take time to tune-in outside of our own smittenly-chosen music box.

I find I am truly grateful, and I desire to exude that in my demeanor more holistically. To be transparent and demonstrating – without even needing to consciously engage – that I am a person who cares about others, regardless of my current, limited perceptions. That goodness, learning, and wisdom abounds around us, swirling; day-in and day-out waiting to be tapped-into. Oh, praise the powers that be!

Enjoying the process phase by phase. Thank you life for handing me what I need most.